Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
