ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
