And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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