what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it hurts more in the daytime
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
