This girl is more easily done than said...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
