someone get that fucking seahorse.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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