he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
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Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
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I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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