I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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