so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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