my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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