no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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