Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
farters have to be the big spoon...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
