At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
