Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
