maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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