dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
