nutella sex= disaster
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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