did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
