Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
