I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
