i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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