my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
