wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
