Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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