Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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