Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
