I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
