FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
