I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
