Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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