After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
