i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
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I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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