drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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