Me too!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
