He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
