dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
