I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
