living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
