I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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