Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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