How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
