Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
the liver wants what the liver wants
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
