One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Your dad touched me again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
