Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
