So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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