i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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