Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
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Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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