Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
