why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
