i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
