i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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