and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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