Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
