i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
