Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
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Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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