Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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