you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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