There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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