Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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