so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
