I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
