Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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