At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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