I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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