I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
