Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
