Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
